I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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