whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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