He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize