yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
