We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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