she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
