Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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