Nicole vs. Life
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
