no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
