I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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