Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
