and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
