When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
