Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Barsexuality is the new black.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
