You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
