If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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