his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
