I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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