He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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