i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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