you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
