no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
