R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
