i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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