I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
