at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
A+ Viking dick
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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