bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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