only if we run a train.
done.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
