I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
