Redeem this text for a blowjob
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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