Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Randomize
