Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i wish my penis had a tongue
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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