If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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