She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
