Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize