recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
