She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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