barbara walters just said penis...
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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