he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize