I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
