i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
