i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
