5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
