Can Purell be used as lube?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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