she told me i tasted like america
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
