i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
