i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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