i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
