so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
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We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
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I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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