And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize