Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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