You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize