Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Randomize
