sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
