oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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