your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
we made out on top of his cat.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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