When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.