can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
